Feeling sucky
It has been a month since i worked already.. Being an honours grad, i started off being in the lowest rung.. absolutely despensible.. and sometimes i feel like i'm a "high class maid-in-the-lab" kind of person.. clean here clean there.. receive orders and do.. have to be reprimanded with a smiley face.. whatever i do is wrong.. whatever i do sucks.. whatever i do frustrate people.. i'm just a nobody among those somebodies...
Not complaining at all.. i'm new and have lots of things to learn.. made a few mistakes and have to learn from it.. cannot expect much from life either.. i can only receive what was given to me.. if it was not given to me, no matter how much i long for it, it will never be mine..
Then i learn to let go of things.. don't bother so much... but sometimes i tend not to bother anymore.. more and more depressed each day.. maybe i'm just getting used to a new life.. a life which i cannot have everything in life.. i am a puppet.. always living in people's expectation.. maybe that's the price to pay for being ungodly.. people delights in ungodly people cos i see people fucking christians happily and blaming them for all their wrong doings without knowing that we are humans just like them and needed God. People are happy when u are far from God, and i will show people how fucked up i can be when i'm not close to God. When u are among fuckers, u have to act like one sometimes to protect yourself.
Fucking SAF ( this shows my ungodliness again).. really live up to your name. You gave me the option to defer because of new employment, and i tried to defer because i have some training in my company. U rejected my deferment. U think i defer to play is it? SAF sucks to the core.
What else can i say.. I will never get what i wanted.. if i want something, i will become a different Joseph to achieve it..
Not complaining at all.. i'm new and have lots of things to learn.. made a few mistakes and have to learn from it.. cannot expect much from life either.. i can only receive what was given to me.. if it was not given to me, no matter how much i long for it, it will never be mine..
Then i learn to let go of things.. don't bother so much... but sometimes i tend not to bother anymore.. more and more depressed each day.. maybe i'm just getting used to a new life.. a life which i cannot have everything in life.. i am a puppet.. always living in people's expectation.. maybe that's the price to pay for being ungodly.. people delights in ungodly people cos i see people fucking christians happily and blaming them for all their wrong doings without knowing that we are humans just like them and needed God. People are happy when u are far from God, and i will show people how fucked up i can be when i'm not close to God. When u are among fuckers, u have to act like one sometimes to protect yourself.
Fucking SAF ( this shows my ungodliness again).. really live up to your name. You gave me the option to defer because of new employment, and i tried to defer because i have some training in my company. U rejected my deferment. U think i defer to play is it? SAF sucks to the core.
What else can i say.. I will never get what i wanted.. if i want something, i will become a different Joseph to achieve it..
posted by A Time For Everything at
4:30 PM
2 Comments:
Hey Joseph!
Dun give up ya? Actually God is with us despite our ungodliness too! I experienced it in the past and he has made me so much betta now in terms of joy and hopefully in my character too after experienceing his tangible love for me.. Dunno wads ur email so i juz reply here.. hehe.. Joseph.. I hope you will also gain a wonderful experience of God's Love as i had. I highly recommend a stay-in retreat organised by our catholic spirituality center which is opposite the 401 coffeeshop at hougang.. I promise your life will change forever after this.. This is open to all people. Catholics and non catholics alike.. I will accompany you if you are willing to take this step of faith to see the power and love of the God whom you believe. Come and see ya!
Heres alittle information about it in the link below and oh ya i am willing to sponsor you for this retreat. The next two retreats are already fully book so the next possible one is in december.Juz give yourself a chance ya? Onli need to sacrifice two days of leave ;) Do let me know k?
http://www.catholic.org.sg/csctr/Forms/WhatIsCER.pdf
it's ok.. :) i appreciate your invitation anyway! perhaps i just need some time..
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home