Purposeless
Once there is this outstanding athlete who loves to run. Whenever there is a competition, this athlete will train very hard and will always put in his very best effort to win the race. More often then not, he won most of the competition. Why? He is determined. His training paid off whenever he win. Above all happiness, this athlete has a girlfriend, who loves him deeply. This girlfriend is very proud of him.
On one occasion, his girlfriend specially bought him a pendent. A very beautiful heart shape with four words carved on it: Luck. She gave it to him and want him to wear it on his neck whenever he go for a race. The athlete was delighted and appreciative. Of course he puts it on whenever he go a race. He ran the first race, the second race, the third race, etc. He did not win a single race. When he started running, the pendent dangling on this neck distracted him. It makes him uncomfortable and he is not used to it. The pendent, given out of love, has become a burden.
Sometimes our love has unknowningly become a burden to our loved ones. No one is at fault. But perhaps things will turn out differently if we love the right way, love in a way that bring out the best in both of you.
The story was told by my pastor very briefly and i modified it a little, but the main point is there. After chruch i went home with my father. My heart was heavy today. Depression seems to get hold of me tightly. I don't seem to get to the root of the problem. Met up with Jessica in Serangoon before we go to Clementi for a game of badminton. So sorry that i was not in the mood of talking. But Jess told me, that we should always face the problem that is troubling us. Think what exactly is the main problem and then think of ways to dealt with it.
There is no problem at all. Just felt a portion of my heart has died. Myocardial infarction. A pain felt by many others. What seems strong, is in fact weak. What seems promising, is in fact empty. Rainbow is enchanting, but whoever tries to catch it is stupid, and i am that stupid one.
Rizal, Yu Sheng, Jessica and Ying Yang was at the badminton game today. Hmm... Rizal and Ying Yang is very good at it. Yu Sheng is improving in leaps and bounces! It was a fun game that lasted 2 hours in court 7 Clementi Sports Hall. Haha... so lucky that Ying Yang and me won a mini competition with Rizal and Yu Sheng! A lot of mistake was made ba, but overall was fun. Had beef stew in a coffeeshop and a cup of ice milo after that. Refreshing! Next Rizal walked home, Ying Yang took a bus while Yu Sheng, Jess and me went home by train.
One of the conversation strike me, though its only a sentence. Yu Sheng said: Sometimes even when we put our entire lives in research, we may end up with nothing also. Indeed when we spend a big portion of our life researching a minute substance/molecule/protein and it turn out successful, how often do we think that such intricacy was so beautifully and precisely in-built into us that allow the entire body to work. How many people actually marvel at the work of God? Or they are just ungrateful bastard who attribute everything to chance, to the big bang theory. Perhaps nothing matters. Perhaps their phD matters the most.
I was just imagining, God is like sitting on planet Jupiter looking at us. Many people devoted to research the things He created. When they found something, they name it after themselves. Newton Law, Boyles Law, Raman effect... Can anyone fathom the pathetic situation in the world? We are just like stubborn nincompoop with selfish intention to prove ourselves or perhaps to boost our ego, not even thankful to God, the designer and creator of the heaven and earth.
You believe in the God who plays dice, and I in complete law and order in a world which objectively exists, and which I, in a wildly speculative way, am trying to capture. I firmly believe, but I hope that someone will discover a more realistic way, or rather a more tangible basis than it has been my lot to find. Even the great initial success of the Quantum Theory does not make me believe in the fundamental dice-game, although I am well aware that our younger colleagues interpret this as a consequence of senility. No doubt the day will come when we will see whose instinctive attitude was the correct one.
( Albert Einstein to Max Born, On Quantum Theory, 1944 )
That's all for today ba. Hope time will heal me.
On one occasion, his girlfriend specially bought him a pendent. A very beautiful heart shape with four words carved on it: Luck. She gave it to him and want him to wear it on his neck whenever he go for a race. The athlete was delighted and appreciative. Of course he puts it on whenever he go a race. He ran the first race, the second race, the third race, etc. He did not win a single race. When he started running, the pendent dangling on this neck distracted him. It makes him uncomfortable and he is not used to it. The pendent, given out of love, has become a burden.
Sometimes our love has unknowningly become a burden to our loved ones. No one is at fault. But perhaps things will turn out differently if we love the right way, love in a way that bring out the best in both of you.
The story was told by my pastor very briefly and i modified it a little, but the main point is there. After chruch i went home with my father. My heart was heavy today. Depression seems to get hold of me tightly. I don't seem to get to the root of the problem. Met up with Jessica in Serangoon before we go to Clementi for a game of badminton. So sorry that i was not in the mood of talking. But Jess told me, that we should always face the problem that is troubling us. Think what exactly is the main problem and then think of ways to dealt with it.
There is no problem at all. Just felt a portion of my heart has died. Myocardial infarction. A pain felt by many others. What seems strong, is in fact weak. What seems promising, is in fact empty. Rainbow is enchanting, but whoever tries to catch it is stupid, and i am that stupid one.
Rizal, Yu Sheng, Jessica and Ying Yang was at the badminton game today. Hmm... Rizal and Ying Yang is very good at it. Yu Sheng is improving in leaps and bounces! It was a fun game that lasted 2 hours in court 7 Clementi Sports Hall. Haha... so lucky that Ying Yang and me won a mini competition with Rizal and Yu Sheng! A lot of mistake was made ba, but overall was fun. Had beef stew in a coffeeshop and a cup of ice milo after that. Refreshing! Next Rizal walked home, Ying Yang took a bus while Yu Sheng, Jess and me went home by train.
One of the conversation strike me, though its only a sentence. Yu Sheng said: Sometimes even when we put our entire lives in research, we may end up with nothing also. Indeed when we spend a big portion of our life researching a minute substance/molecule/protein and it turn out successful, how often do we think that such intricacy was so beautifully and precisely in-built into us that allow the entire body to work. How many people actually marvel at the work of God? Or they are just ungrateful bastard who attribute everything to chance, to the big bang theory. Perhaps nothing matters. Perhaps their phD matters the most.
I was just imagining, God is like sitting on planet Jupiter looking at us. Many people devoted to research the things He created. When they found something, they name it after themselves. Newton Law, Boyles Law, Raman effect... Can anyone fathom the pathetic situation in the world? We are just like stubborn nincompoop with selfish intention to prove ourselves or perhaps to boost our ego, not even thankful to God, the designer and creator of the heaven and earth.
You believe in the God who plays dice, and I in complete law and order in a world which objectively exists, and which I, in a wildly speculative way, am trying to capture. I firmly believe, but I hope that someone will discover a more realistic way, or rather a more tangible basis than it has been my lot to find. Even the great initial success of the Quantum Theory does not make me believe in the fundamental dice-game, although I am well aware that our younger colleagues interpret this as a consequence of senility. No doubt the day will come when we will see whose instinctive attitude was the correct one.
( Albert Einstein to Max Born, On Quantum Theory, 1944 )
That's all for today ba. Hope time will heal me.
posted by Joseph at
11:40 PM
2 Comments:
Wow, you really pay attention what Rev Teo said. That's very good! And..I just want to leave a message for you:
You are one of the nicest brother I come across in CBC. Can see how you dote on your siblings... Cheers
Hey Krystin... thanks.. you are always very encouraging. Thanks so much!!
Do u know u put a smile on my dad also on sunday? He was rather tired and feeling empty in his heart also, but u really brighten up his mood by joking with him and asking for his signature.... haha... funny leh u... hope u're cheerful always too!
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