Mist

I have been too demanding.. or maybe i cared too much.. or put too much hope.. i don't know what i should do.. wanted some things, but no matter how hard i try, i cannot get it.. felt useless.. still no matter how useless i feel, i can't get what i wanted at the end of the day.. or maybe the things i want is insignificant to everyone... ... what a loser i am..

Been feeling lonely these days.. lots of people around me, but still feel lonely.. lots of happy things happen, but at the end of the day, i have to face loneliness myself.. especially now.. in wee hours.. i feel God has abandoned me somehow.. I'm sorry God.. i'm suppose to show people your love for them, but i failed.. no one believes me.. i'm not a good example at all.. i chose another path myself.. i deserve it.. God.. do you know when i left u, i have no confident to be a good man at all? I think i will fail as a man.. I have already done sinful stuff that people don't know.. God.. i know u're disappointed with me.. it's normal i guess.. cos people around me are disappointed with me also.. i'm disappointed with myself too.. life is meaningless.. playing all day, studying all day, quarreling all day, watching movies etc.. i just another loser...

If i were to sleep now and never to wake up again, will anyone notice it? Maybe i'm just another mist in people's life.. i'm not important at all.. i hope someone will encourage me.. now.. by my side.. a whisper also can.. i want a hug to feel appreciated.. but i guess i can never have it when i needed it the most..

Life still goes on no matter what happen..