Forgiveness

Just some random thoughts...

How wonderful is the feeling of forgiveness. I'm just thinking if one day i did something wrong.. one grave mistake, how i crave someone will forgive me.. just by imagining it, i can feel the acceptance of me, myself already, and not only the reprimands i got from the silly things i've done. What a nice feeling is it to be given a second chance.

Maybe asking for forgiveness is not important anymore.

In real life, there won't be many second chances. Sometimes just by doing one wrong thing, thats' it. You're out. In this society, i don't expect much, not even people who are close to me to give me a second chance easily.

Haha.. who am i to complain. Life is chosen by me. Even if i'm left alone, i will rather keep the lonliness in me than to ask people to pity me and give me some of their attention. When people are all out to destroy me, by all means come. What can they do?

Maybe i've grown up. And nothing is important anymore. Staying alive is.

Hiroshima

Spent my sunday watching movies online.. this is a very touching documentary i found. Comprehensive. Full of emotions after seeing this video.

http://www.moviesfoundonline.com/hiroshima.php

I hope it will never happen again.

The Pulitzer prize

Went to church this morning and a pastor talked about this photo briefly:

The Pulitzer Prize Winning Photo taken by Kevin Carter in 1994 A vulture is stalking a little girl in Sudan as this girl was trying to make her way to the feeding center. At about 1km from the UN camp, she collapsed. Kevin crouched to photograph her, positioned himself for the best possible image and waited for 20 minutes, hoping the vulture would spread its wings. However it did not. After he took his photographs, he chased the vulture away and left the girl to struggle alone in fear of contracting a disease.

He won the Pullitzer Prize in 1994 for feature photography, but committed suicide on the same year, burdened with guilt and sadness.

I'm not trying to reprimand him, despise him or judge him. When i tried to search for information about this issue, the impression most people gave was as if Kevin was inhumane, another "vulture" in disguise, money slave, someone who exchanged his soul for a prize winning photo, sickening etc.

Why do we all just sit back, look at the photo and shake our heads? Is it really the fact that someone took the photo that upsets us, or is it the fact that the photo was there taken that upsets us? Who are we to judge that photographer when we are not even on ground zero, but sitting comfortably behind the screen watching all the suffering happened? Please. The girl is still alive. If you really think Kevin is the biggest sinner on earth, why can't you forgive him and love him in return? Why fault him alone when people around the world are talking different photos of people suffering?

I'm not supportive of his action definitely, and my heart pour out for that little girl. But i'm not supportive, nor joining those accusers as well.

Don't be a bloody hypocrite and say you love the unseen God when you yourself cannot even love the sinners around you.

Pooh

Lack of updates these few days. My laptop internal fan was damage and i cannot even switch on the com! Sent it for repair at the IBM servicing centre. Check only also need $50. Replace one fan need $127!!! Servicing fee? A whooping $100. Battery is the worst. Replacement of one battery cost $300!!!! *GLUP*. IBM is all out for your money after your warranty. Watch out. Anyway i repaired the fan and got back my laptop yesterday.

One boring evening, i had nothing to do. Took a pooh bear ( for hug hug one ) for a camara shot:
( Close up shot ) Strangled shot ( still smiling sia )
Flying shot.. or should i say, act cute shot. Haha.. i'm amazed that pooh actually cooperate with me.
Looking out my window, arh... took this nice picture with the LRT line just below. I like the colour of the distant flat that is under construction.Find this view beautiful, but something spoils it!! Let me take you to a closer look:yes... if you notice at the top left hand corner, someone is negligent in simple task.. don't really like this kind of view. Put Singapore flag also don't know how to put ar. Although this country still didn't give me the chance to watch the actual parade ( which i don't like ), i still don't like to see imperfection when it could be perfected. Reminds me of the perfect cut show at 10pm everyday. Good show!

Oh ya.. by the way, anyone know how Hui Jun looks like? :P Haha.. yup! Hui Jun is the middle girl eating the noodles.. this picture is taken when Huifen treated us pizza hut on her own birthday! Thanks for your blueberry cheese cake Huifen! It tastes very nice.. Two more pictures showing what my maid prepared for my dinner which i think are very nice too!

haha.. a typical western food! and on another occasion, bee hoon + herbal soup!
Oh ya.. i had a variety of Delifrance breakfast one morning i can choose from!
Seriously, the Raspberry Butter Cake Slice is superb. One slice + a cup of tea-o is enough. Filling! Perhaps is due to the sweet buttery taste and the rich raspberry smell that makes it memorable. I certainly recommend it to all of you!

Working life still sucks, but i'm coping better and better each day. On my way to work, i notice this building. Make a guess why i took this picture?

yey... if u are observant, the logo for the DKSH company resembles the tree just below it.. how very creative of them to think of such logo... -____-" When i walked into my company, i notice another thing pasted on one of the cupboard:
This message funny sounds funny. Shouldn't it be " Please close after use"?? Although my English is not that "powderful", but i still finds it funny to read it this way.. haha.. sometimes it does not take much to make simple life interesting.. just be a little observant and u'll notice this sort of unexpected things around you.. :)

Hmm.. went to have dinner at my parents workplace yesterday. Thanks so much for treating me with very very delicious food! Fried oyster, prawn mee, sizzling chilli-flavoured fish, sugar cane juice and satay!! Yummy! Thanks so much for willing to lend me your car too.. i appreciate it!

Indeed, blogging is letting people know how u're feeling and introducing people to your inner life. People don't like it, but to me, i feel that there is nothing to hide. Maybe i'll stop blogging one day? When i feel lost of hope? haha.. let's hope this day will not come. Right now, i want to let the world know that i'm very pleased with my life although i still quarrel with people. Happy that some people still loves me like my parents and some of my friends.. that's enough le. In a month time, i will be flying to korea already. Hope all of you will be fine and healthy.. especially my parents.

Pretty and Ugly

People nowadays always say they rather choose someone with a good heart than someone with good looks. Excuses. I dispise this kind of people. Who are they to judge? Discriminating against people who looks nice? Are they trying to imply that those who look good have a bad heart? Or are they just eating sour grapes since they cannot be with pretty people? Is it fair to those who looks good? Don't tell me good looks are not important you impotent. In the society, people look at looks. Face up the reality. And people who are fat and ugly does not mean they have a good heart either, though they can be capable.

These days i think those who do not have good looks can have an ugly heart as well. I've seen lots of them. Think highly of themselves as if they really have a golden heart. For those of you who think you are ugly, please don't automatically think u have a good heart. An example is me, since i typed this entry, i must have a black heart. It does not matter to me anyway. My heart cannot feel a lot of things these days. Unreceptive already. I don't even know why i'm typing this entry when i'm thinking of other things... lol... this thought just hit me and i just typed it. Anyway have a happy day.

Rage ( R21 entry )

Worked in the company for 7 days already.. Finally get to know the tradition of the company.. or at least, there are 6 lessons the boss wants to teach me:

1) Kindly fuck off the company on the dot after office hours. We don't want you to do OT unnecessarily cos we don't want to pay you more. Not even a single cent you greedy pig.

2) Don't do your things so fast. We don't like it. If not we will let you shred papers to waste time.

3) Don't be proactive cos you are always wrong. Be a puppet. I ask you to go eat, you must go eat. If you go shit i will fuck you also. I want you to call the customer once to ask for money. Don't bloody act smart and call two times understand? If not i fuck you.

4) No complains from the customer. Let them fuck you whatever they like, if not i will fuck you.

5) Don't come too early also. Either be on the dot or be late. If not i will ask why you come so early to work. Who knows i may fuck you as well for coming early you money sucker.

6) As a new bird, even the most useless bird in the company can fuck you. Even if the useless bird cannot fuck you, it will suck up to the older birds to fuck you. Be polite to the useless bird also, if not get ready to get fuck.

Believe it or not, anyone at anytime from any place can scold me as if i'm a dirt.

I finally know what to do in the company. Get fucked.

Working~

Finally during this holiday, i get to work for 1.5 month. The highest i earned for a part time job is $830 only! Hopefully i will earn more this time... Oh ya.. Went out last weekend and had a nice dinner at long john silver!In fact nowadays i had not much time to go out because of work... something like 9 to 5 kind of job. ( Anyway i'm lazy to go out too ) Hmm... know what i'm doing? I'm a "loanshark" in the company, calling people to pay up money. Well i kinda like the job as i'm constantly in contact with people. Haha... then one morning my mum bought me Mee Siam from punggol park KPT! Don't really like spicy stuff in the morning, but i still ate it greedily.
After eating 90% of the "essence" i noticed the scientist-all-time-favourite pet: "the drosophilla" inside my mee siam. *Faint*.
Guess what. I poke the fly with my fork and lifted it up to the visible area on the plate. After which i use the same fork, poke the egg and ate it. *SIAN DIAO*

Don't know why i do such stupid act, but nonetheless, the essence of this fly is in me now.

None

felt like nobody.. felt abandoned..